Social validation

A couple of days ago, my niece, a ninth grader, broke down in tears—big, bitter tears—and locked herself in her room for two days. Why? Because her dad bought her a phone that wasn’t an iPhone. She didn’t care about the camera quality, gaming features, or anything else an iPhone offers. She just wanted one because all her friends had it.

At the core of this behaviour is the human need for social approval, being part of a group was essential for survival. 

That’s when it hit me: the pressure to fit in can push people to buy things they don’t even need. It’s not about the product; it’s about being seen as part of the group. The fear of looking “less trendy” or “less well-off” can easily make us swipe our cards for gadgets that serve no real purpose in our lives.

And honestly, social media influencers have only made this worse. Think about it—when your favourite influencer casually flaunts their shiny new iPhone, their audience immediately feels that itch to own one too. It’s not about the iPhone itself but what it represents: success, status, and being in. But here’s the thing: maybe even those influencers feel the same pressure. If they showed off a more affordable phone, they might worry about being judged or appearing less affluent. So, the cycle continues, and before you know it, the iPhone becomes the go-to device for anyone trying to signal their place in the world.

It reminds me of how Royal Enfield bikes used to be a big deal about a decade ago. Back then, you’d rarely spot one on the road, and that gentle roar of its engine was enough to turn heads. It was a status symbol. Fast forward to today, and everyone seems to have one. So, what do people do to stand out? They tamper with the silencer to make it louder, just to ensure strangers notice their “premium” bike. The same goes for KTM bikes—once a statement, now so common that people barely glance. For many owners, being loud (literally!) has become the only way to feel validated for owning an expensive bike. Thankfully, traffic police are cracking down on this trend.

But why do we act this way? Well, at the heart of it all is a deeply human need for social approval. If you look back at our evolutionary history, belonging to a group was crucial for survival. That need to be accepted and fit in hasn’t gone away. It still influences how we act, what we buy, and even how we present ourselves—whether we realize it or not.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m sure iPhones are fantastic devices. They’re sleek, powerful, and honestly beautiful. But me? I’m still the guy who watches 20 review videos before buying a budget-friendly 20k smartphone. Sure, I travel a lot, and sometimes I wish I had a better camera to capture those moments. But most of the time, I convince myself: “Do I really need this?” The answer is usually no.

At the end of the day, I’ve managed to resist that pull—the need to impress strangers by spending a small fortune. And you know what? It feels good. 

But her dad had to exchange the phone he bought with an iPhone.